Mistakes We Make That Hold Us Back

Hi Friends

Being a life coach and motivational coach is my calling. I love helping people reach and exceed their goals, I love the look on  faces when they realize they are worthy of greatness, and they can accomplish any goal they set in front of them. As much as I love being a coach, it's also emotionally draining, because I can't turn off my compassion and empathy. I'm constantly trying to inspire people and help them find their correct path whether they are paying me or if they are serving me dinner. I find myself constantly questioning almost everyone I come in contact with, asking them about their dreams and trying to give them a 2 minute road map to personal success. 

Since I alway have Self Improvement on the brain, I figure it's time to share some of my techniques and expertise with all of you. 

Everyday we stunt our growth, everyday we put ourselves in confined boxes by deciding what we can and cannot do, what is for us and what's not. Instead of walking straight into your bosses office and demanding the raise we deserve, we would rather keep working, keep our heads down, and talk negatively about people that aren't giving us exactly what we believe should be ours. 

Check out this list of things we do that hold us back. 

If you find yourself doing any of these things, try to correct them over time. 

It's time to realize your full potential and start reaching for those stars. 

Focus too much on the negative
It's easier to find your faults then it is to focus on your strengths. You might not be a morning person, but you will stay until the job is done. You might not speak well in public, but your ideas are ground breaking. 

As human beings we are raised to see the negative sides of everything. Instead of focusing too much of what you don't do well, start focusing on what you do do. 

- Clean sheet of paper
- Pen or pencil 

Do It
On one side of the paper write down all of the faults you can think of, i.e. not a good lover, horrible cook, terrible listener

On the other side of the paper write down all of your strengths compared to your faults i.e. 

not a good lover = I'm a good listener, but my actions don't match what's really in my heart 

I am a horrible cook = I try new recipes and I watch cooking shows

Match up your faults with your strengths. Realize that you are always going to have faults, but they don't have to hold you back from your goals and aspirations. You have to learn how to work around those faults for success. 

Labeling your efforts
How easy it is to label everything you do as not good enough? If it was good enough you would be able to reach and exceed all of your wildest dreams. When you try to start a new workout routine, or you're working on a new project at work, it's a lot easier to label all of your efforts as mediocre and lack luster. 

Did you know that all that plays into the outcome? If you believe you are not good enough you will never be good enough. If you don't believe you can truly loose weight you never will. 

You must stop labeling your efforts as "stupid" "silly" "never going to amount to anything" internally it helps you stay the same. 

Attach all of your goals to positive labels... I can loose weight, I can get that raise, I can find and date the man/woman of my dreams. 

You never pat yourself on the back
You finally did you, you reach a goal that's been elusive to you. Instead of patting yourself on your back and saying 
"good job insert your name here"
most people find ways to down play their success. 

This hurts you in more ways then one. If you don't give yourself credit who's going to give you the credit. 

Personal Reflection
Yesterday I did the budget with boyfriend, after some loose calculations we both realized we have been managing our money successfully. 

The car was silent after this revelation. Of course, I broke the silence and said. 
Say this outloud: I am proud of myself 
He looked at me rolled his eyes and said ok
I am proud of myself!
I am proud of myself!
I am proud of myself!
He stopped, was silent for a few seconds, looked deep into my eyes and said... babe I'm proud of both of us. We are on track, we are moving forward, we are reaching for our goals

What more can I say about that? 

Everything must happen instantly for you
As human beings we need instant gratifications. I think it comes from watching all those feel good movies in the 80s and 90s. It seems like everyone reaches there dreams within 2 hours, why can't it be that easy for us. 

I will admit, working towards your goals is annoying, time consuming, and sometimes even frustrating, but Rome wasn't built in a day. 

Realize real change takes time. Nothing instant is worth it, instant coffee sucks, instant cup of noodles are satisfying but they do lack in qualtiy. Good things comes to those who wait. Don't just wait idly, wait and push, push, push to those goals. 

No Roadmap
This is one of my biggest pet peives. A lot of people come to me distraught, broken, with no passion for life. We sit down, have a chat, and they tell me what they want to be, what they want to do, the life the feel like they should be living. After I listen intently and take notes I ask them for a road map. 

If you think you should have your bosses job what's your road map to get that job? If you think you should be your high school weight what's the road map to get there. 

That's when the blank stares come, or the outburst of... "You just don't understand. I know my life isn't supposed to be like this!" 

I'm not trying to attack anyone, but if you want something you have to create a road map to get there. 

I wanted to date a man that loved, appreciated me, treated me like a queen, and didn't make fun of my beliefs or goals. I created a road map to finding my special someone. My road map included things that I had to do in order find and accept a man of that nature. I had to be comfortable with myself, I had to be stern and believe in myself, I couldn't be easily persuaded anymore, and I also couldn't be the push over that I had always been in pervious realtionships. Once I had a road map I followed it and I found the man of my dreams. 

I have no problem telling this man what I deserve and what I expect. If he doesn't like it he knows I'll move on to the next one. By mapping out what I want my road to success is clear as day. 

That's all today folks
I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

If you ever want to chat or have a life coaching session,
 in person or Via skype/facetime 
the first ones always on me. 
Contact me at: 



You may also like


My name is Mary! I was obese for most of my life, around 7 years ago I decided to take control of my life and successfully lost over 150 pounds. But that's just the beginning of my journey. Join me as I evolve into the person I was born to become. I love to cook, craft, read, and make people smile. I'm happy you've stumbled on by. Let’s Evolve Together.

Contact Form


Email *

Message *