I'm sick and tried. Truth be told, I'm tired of refraining from most of my favorite foods and not having the perfect body that I desire. I don't eat meat, I hide from fried foods, and I haven't had a soda in the past 5 years; yet, I still don't have wash board abs, ripped arms and manageable thighs. I'm learning that the image of myself is different from everyone else's image of me. I'm always so surprise that people describe my body as amazing and perfect. Who are they looking at? I'm usually a lot more accepting of myself, but I'm human, and today I'm annoyed.

All these feeling could be from the fact that I have a 102 degree fever that keeps coming and going. Or the fact that I'm coughing up so much gross stuff it makes me want to throw up. Who enjoys being sick? I know I don't, but it is what it is, being sick is a part of life.

All this to say everyone has good and bad days. Today I looked at myself naked in the mirror and I was disappointed. Tomorrow I might look in the mirror and be proud and inspired. Even thought I eat, sleep, and breath fitness it doesn't make my journey any easier. We are all in this together. I need your support just as much as you need mine.

Let's inspire each other.

So sorry I have been out of touch for a week or so. I turned 30 on the 21st, then Thanksgiving came, and the next day I left for a weekend get away. All is well. I'm happy, healthy, and excited for life.

Surprisingly I didn't over eat on Thanksgiving, which is always a struggle for me. The fact that I have omitted meat from my diet helped curb the calorie count, but I did enjoy mash potatoes, gravy and all the fixings. Try not to be too hard on yourself this time of year. It's hard to refrain from all your favorite foods when family members and close friends are force feeding you. Try to control the other days. If you can find restrain on the other, non important, days leading up to the holidays it all evens out.

At work people are bringing in sweets, cookies, and pies that you "have" to try. At home a hearty meal during the winter season seems needed rather then a light salad. I myself wrestle with this every year. Staying on track for me consist of working out 5 to 6 days a week, eating a small breakfast, making sure to consume at least 1 apple day, and watching my calorie and sodium intake during dinner.

Take the time to figure out what staying on track looks like for you. Maybe it's exercising 2-3 days a week, or it's controlling your late night snacking. Whatever it is write it down and try to revisit it once a week. Hold your self accountable. You control what you consume. With a lot of effort, and an elevated sense self control you can stay on track during the holidays.

Don't beat yourself up when you fall of the healthy wagon. Just get back on. I used to beat myself up when I over ate. That's not what the holidays are about. Enjoy yourself, eat your favorite foods, reconnect with family, and hold yourself accountable.

Today I had a wonderful shopping day. Like a lot of people I have good shopping days and really really bad shopping days. For the past 3 months I have avoided the dressing room. The lighting never does anything for my complexion and that small 5 by 5 room always seems to add an extra 10 pounds.

My 30th birthday is coming up and I have been working hard exercising and watching my diet. Today was my day of reason. I grabbed a pair of jeans, and headed to the dressing room. I was nervous. I know what a bad shopping trip can and will do to my confidence, so I made sure to get dressed turned away from the mirror, just in case something didn't fit. To my surprise the jeans slipped on like they were made for me. I couldn't my believe it. I was so flabbergasted that I slipped them off to make sure they were a size 10. Once I confirmed the size, I again expected the jeans to not fit, but just like the first time, they slip up my thighs like butter! When I finally turned around to admired myself in the mirror and I still couldn't believe my eyes. I had no muffin top, my butt looked great and I could breath freely!

I'm happy that all my hard work is paying off. I'm proud of my body and of myself. I can't believe I'm going to be 30 and I can still fit into a size 10! I can't wait to see what's next. Watch out world, here comes Mary!

Petrale Sole dipped in egg covered in panko bread crumbs. I covered a cookie sheet with olive oil spray, then placed the fish, touching each other, but not overlapping. I sprayed more olive oil on top of fish and placed it in the oven on the top rack at 375 degrees for 10 minutes or until panko crust browns and fish is cooked. 

Yesterday I played a part in making a dying wish come true. A friend of a friend has a terminal illness, he is so special and brave and grateful. He changed my life. Everyday I strive to be a better person and to help as many people as possible. After yesterday I realized I am on the right track and will continue to give back, helping anyone, and everyone that I can. 

Most people I come in contact with, on a daily bases, assume that I have been this fit and firm size all my life. I have actually been a lot bigger and about 10 pound smaller. People’s opinion of me doesn’t factor into to my goals or aspirations. When I was smaller many people told me I was too small. When I was bigger numerous people told me I was just right, or way to fat. I had to look deep inside and ask myself what I wanted, and where was I comfortable.