Confessions Friday!

Today’s entry has everything to do about things I try to hide from people: My bad eating habits, my late night food craving, my lack of motivation. Every week is a roller coaster for me, yet some people think that I cruse by on disciple and I’m going to be naturally fit forever.

Truth be told that’s is my biggest fear.

Confession

I fear that I will wake up 300+ pounds again, and all this was a dream. I have known my fat self longer then my fit self, so I wouldn’t be so surprising to me. This was something I used to obsess over everyday but now its just a red pin buried deep deep deep in my head.

I realize that no matter how much I workout and eat healthy loosing weight and staying fit is also a mental battle. You have to change the way you treat and see yourself before, during and after you start your “get fit” quest. It’s a mental challenge as well as a physical challenge to truly change, but I’m living proof that it is possible

Confession

Whenever I’m alone I love to eat foods that I have omitted from my diet. If I’m alone I have to fight with myself not to go somewhere and get a full meal of fried foods, sweet drinks, and decadent desserts. Last night I gave into myself, and went to 3 different restaurants, ordered my 3 favorite appetizers, and went home to eat them, standing up in my kitchen, straight out of the boxes.

This is a huge no no for me. I try to avoid fried foods like the plague, I try not to go to more then one restaurant a day, and I never ever ever eat straight out of the box. It’s the easiest way to over eat. I’m not mad at myself, or beating myself up. Everyone needs a cheat day. Everyone needs to let lose every now and again. 

Confession

Every day I get out of bed the first thing I do is search for the nearest mirror and check out my stomach. I worked very very hard on flatting my tummy, and I have a fear that foods I ate the night before will ruin all of my blood, sweat, and tears. Usually I am pleasantly surprised, but some morning I can see the effects of my cheat days.

The good thing about this one is that it pushes me to work harder. If I have a little pot belly, I adjust my wardrobe choices for the day, alter my eating habits, and I murder my abdominal exercises.

You just peeked into my soul. I like being human, because I’m allowed not to be perfect. I’m allowed flaws and mistakes. I’m allowed to take a break from my strict diet, and crazy workout routine­­. As much as I love being in shape, I also realize it is not the end all of be all.

This is a never-ending journey that I signed up for. Thanks for coming long for the ride.